This is Jake here. A friend sent in a fascinating question that I think warrants its own post. What does fulfillment mean and feel like and how do you define it? Hopefully others can weigh in with their thoughts. Here are some of my free-flowing thoughts on the subject.

“Living well and beautifully and justly are all one thing.” – Socrates

I think of fulfillment as separate from happiness. To me it is a satisfaction with the direction and content of your life. That is a life that is robust to the cyclical nature of the human condition with its ebbs and flows of good and bad moments. Not that you avoid the good and bad that life throws at you, just that you are in a place internally where they enrich you. Also, this fulfillment is not a sense of complacency. Rather, it fuels the drive that makes each day enjoyable, exciting, full of growth, and worth living. A fulfilled person feels at peace with their place in the world, their country, community, and family.

Right now it seems to me that culture plays a significant role in how easily prone to fulfillment a populous is. However, I am going to test this hypothesis by interacting with people from other cultures. In a fast-paced culture such as that lived by many on the west coast of the USA, I do not meet many people where I think, “Wow, that person is really fulfilled in their life.” Although it is hard to gauge since my own feelings of fulfillment skew the results. I think it will be fascinating to walk in the shoes of some other people for awhile to see if I do get that sense of being around individuals who are fulfilled.

I have met a lot of people here who appear to not enjoy what they do for work but spend most of their time working, are often stressed out, and basically living what I think of as unhealthy and unfulfilling lives. What I want to know is if this is pervasive elsewhere or if it is a byproduct of our current way of life. Right now I feel like the grass is a lot greener in some other places and that by and large the United States is full of a lot of both unhappy and unfulfilled people. We sit in this cocoon of protection from many of the ills of the world with an abundance of freedom and resources; yet have what I deem as excessive levels of obesity, violence, depression, and drug use (prescription and illicit). We are also falling behind in the education of our youth. I cannot help but ask why? This should not be.

It does not seem to be the actual work that is the problem. I feel like you could have a crummy job and still feel fulfilled. My gut says that a person could have a fulfilling life digging ditches 12 hours a day, seven days a week if it brings in enough money for the family and affords some outside time in the fresh air. Working to the bone in inescapable poverty does not sound like a recipe for fulfillment, but in such a wealthy nation this should be the exception and not the norm.

Maybe some aspect of your life has to have a sense of purpose or feel meaningful or important to you. Are people that are currently raising young children that are dependent on them more fulfilled? Maybe, but I think there is something more needed. Are different sized families more fulfilled than others? What about the meaningfulness of the product of your labor? If you had to dig a ditch each day and then fill it in and repeat, it seems hard to imagine that allows for a fulfilling life even if it brought in plenty of money for your family. At least personally, I feel a strong need to do something that matters, even if it is just locally in time or space. Solving X problem will make life easier for so and so and thus is worth it. This in itself does not bring forth the feelings of fulfillment in life, but does seem to be a necessary requirement, at least for me.

Maybe it has to do with a feeling that you are giving back, say to a community or a society. Maybe it relates to how closely you live by your internal morals. Maybe interaction with one’s peers is important (your boss, co-workers, friends, family). Maybe it is a consistency with internal expectations about the general direction or level of control of your life, not too little and not too much. Maybe it involves seeing yourself as a necessary piece of a puzzle where you fit in and are needed. How do dads of the 1950’s, where having two jobs was the norm, compare to those of today? I don’t know.

Here are some things that seem to be disconnected from fulfillment and happiness: wealth or lack thereof of both you and your country, level of education, geographical location, field of work, hours worked per week, and employment position.

Maybe the lack of fulfillment is only something that plagues those of us with enough free time to ponder it. Maybe other people spend their time worrying about their health and getting food and shelter and could give a rats butt about finding or living a fulfilling life. Either way, I will continue to think about it and look out for the elusive individuals who seem to have fulfillment in their grasp.

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